Friday, July 16, 2010 |
I am determined to celebrate my precious son's life today. He has changed me forevermore, and I am thankful for that. My eyes are now open, even though I thought they were before, they were not. I thought I never took life for granted, now I know that I did. I always thought it was easy to simply give birth to my son, wait, not easy but non eventful. I so long to kiss your face, those perfect pink lips. I ache to wrap my loving arms around you and sing to you. I do sing to you while I sing to your older brother, Eli. By the way, William, do you keep waking your brother so Mommy has that wake up call at least? He sure does not like sleeping in his room this past week and it seems there is something in there he just can't sleep. I just pictured you pinchin his leg or something lol so mom isn't missing out on the sleep deprivation a new mom usually has. I see you growing in heaven in my mind. I hope you are watching over us as we sleep and move on with our life. I want your life to represent something so special, I hope I can find the ways it will make a difference. I wish to do so many things for you. I just don't know where to start my sweet boy! I want to rejoice through my tears if I must and scream out your name so the world knows you lived, here at least in my womb. Your life I hope will open your big brothers eyes, to love, and understanding, and how special it is that they even have each other. I wish for daddy and I to grow stronger in our love for each other because you were here for a short while. I wish I could help so many other mommies that must endure this pain, for I know all too well the tears, the sorrow, the ride going up and down. I know your life will make me a different mommy for your brothers, I treasure each day that I m blessed to have with them, for now, I know I m not guarunteed any day beyond today. My dear sweet son, place your strong lil hand upon mine, and help me find my way. I know you are there, I just wish I could see with mine own eyes. I wish I could see your sweet eyes open, and a smile. I want one sweet breath, from you. I will celebrate you today, for you have changed me forevermore. Mommy loves you soooooo much sweet William, bless our lives with love and happiness, that we may live a sweeter life because we knew you.
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