Thursday, August 5, 2010

How fast the time flies....

It is already about school time and my nine year old is oh so worried about what clothes he wants this year and how his hair looks, :)  I had no idea this would begin at such a young age, I really don't think I was at this point til almost 13. wow, who needs a daughter lol. I will have to be in search of the trendy "skinny jeans" . oh what fun it will be. I will have a fourth and second grader this year, my dad says I must be getting old if that's the case. I'm thinking hey I'm still having babies, I can't be that old YET. I still long to have a newborn in my arms, at least I do have 3 adorable little men to wrap my clingy arms to.... My sweet 18 month old is finally waving bye and imitating EVERYthing his big brothers do.I really truly  believe that I know how precious and quickly our time is here on earth, the smallest moments will have to simply last me a lifetime because it s slipping out of my grasp so fast that I feel as though I barely catch a breath and something else has happened, something else has grown. My oldest son also asks me last night when I was saying good night and getting them ready to go to bed, Mom WHEN are you going to LET me have my first kiss? WHHATTT , what is this? He says, You always talk about how you will beat this girl's butt or this or that. I  think geesh, does he REALLY think his mom is going to go redneck scrappin with  a little girl that he may like, maybe I should rethink my position. lol. I told him I can't say when IT will happen for him, but he IS TOO YOUNG, in a nice soft mom voice! Oh my , dear spirit help me, I knew it would come, just did not think it would be so soon. I sure had some moments yesterday, those moments of I feel like I'm forgetting something constantly but it is nothing I have forgotten, only something is missing. I know what is missing, my sweet baby boy. He is here in my heart so strong, but I want his face to be among his brothers in joy and laughter. I long still to hold and kiss him as well. I know this feeling will overtake me at moments for the rest of my life and there is nothing that will take it away. I do have happiness in my daily life, such as the things mentioned above, I'm thankful that I can find pure joy in things each day. I know it is because of Will that I feel so strongly about this. He must send me his love each day, as I send him mine. I do still want another baby, yet only God knows if and when that will happen, until then I suppose I am left to watch the days grow by as my sons' eyes learn something new each minute!

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