Wednesday, August 4, 2010

An exerpt from my journal, One of my letters to William

InnocentMy dearest William,
You know I do miss you so, but I know also who you are with and the glory only your eyes have seen are immeasurable. I can't say I understand the why, yet I do understand you were always meant to be his angel. I can't say I'm happy about you not being here with me, yet I am happy that you will know no pain, suffer none of this world's traumas, and your heart will never be broken. I know that you are my angel in heaven yet I feel I have grown wings as well. I want to go on down my path knowing that the grief I feel for your presence not here will be well worth the change it brought to my life. My son, I will always look for signs from above to assure me of your happiness. I will forever look at the clouds different. I know I can face tragedy and be carried by the hand of GOD. I want you to know that I do have tears, tears for my pain and heartache to hold you and kiss you. I also think of you each moment of my day into my night. Your brothers drew you pictures and Kaden said you bring out the sun, Austin said you bring out the moon. They love and miss you too. Your Daddy ,well son, he misses you as much as all of us. He knows you are in Jesus' lap and smiling upon us. He wishes he could teach you all the sports and camping that he loves so much to do, yet you have Uncle Chris by your side to teach you now. We have so many loving people you are with, I don't fret a bit about that, I know your teacher now is the perfect one. I am so honored to have been chosen, our family chosen, to carry you sweet angel William. I will wait until we meet again and I will love you like I ve never loved before.
Not Goodbye My Son, just see you in a while. Rest in peace while you wait for me, or go ahead and give heaven a run for it's money :)

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