Friday, August 13, 2010

My grief found me this morning. I shared a song I love with a friend I love and it hit me harder than the past couple of days. I was simply sobbing sitting in my chair, and I felt as if I were an addict needing to get a high, that will never be available here on earth. I said, it's like I physically ache for him, like an alcoholic feels they need alcohol, as a heroin addict phines for their next high. My dh pointed out to me, that as it may feel that way , there is one difference. We will never get our high, that want to hold and caress satisfied. I know it will be fulfilled in our eternity, but as for here on earth, we must wait. It seems a little silly yes, but I have dealt with many addictions in my life as well as those of my family members. The grief seems to shake you to the core all to unexpected. And how can it be unexpected?  I wondered to myself earlier through my tears, how can I still breathe? I know I do, yet how. I know all too well I have others to LIVE FOR, but the pain remains. I know that God made a choice for my path, but I still have moments of failure that set in my mind. I cannot get this song out of my head, it s echoing over, and over. I feel some strength creeping back into my heart, I must keep on truckin~


  1. I held on to the verse from Job: For I know that my Redeemer lives and in the end He shall stand upon the earth. And after my flesh is stripped from my bones, in my body I shall see God.

    Praying with you through this terrible hour.

  2. Think you should put this into a little book for bereaved parents.ittd be great to show them how far youve come. Also that life becomes bearable in the end xxx